DO NO'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women becauseevery-night men get freshmilk & 2 big papayaswomen only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? ""Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What doyou want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

What Is the Only True Success?

Tell me...

How are you living your life?

Are you living it your family's way, your society's way, your friends' way - or your OWN way?

Are you living an inherited life that has no taste or meaning for you? Are you living how other people expect you to? Are you giving other people full control of your life and your destiny?

Do you try to please everyone except yourself?

All of us have been told at one point or another that our elders know more than we do and that we should follow their advice.

Are you following the advice of people who don't know you and who don't know what your dreams are?

I know I am asking too many questions, so let me be frank and share with you the message I want to drive home:

"There is only one success - the ability to live your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley, American writer and editor

That is the ONE true success!

Read that quote again.

Your ability to live your life from the inside out is the only true success. Success comes in all shapes and sizes, and is highly dependent on each individual's personal definition of what success means to him.

But in the end, everything converges on this tipping point: any form of success MUST reflect your own way of living your life.

You were born for a purpose - a unique purpose. And the best way to live your life is to fully express that purpose.

The ultimate victory in life is to win the battle over the external forces that push you to live your life like everyone else, to follow the herd like a sheep, and to deprive yourself of your right to live life in your own way.

There is only one way to unleash your inner giant, and that is by being determined to live your life by your own rules, and making the commitment to find your true purpose and turn it into a living reality.

When you do that, you will reach your maximum personal power and will experience an overwhelming sense of meaning and satisfaction.

Only then can you craft a legacy that will ensure that you live on in the hearts and minds of others for years to come.

"There is only one success - the ability to live your life in your own way."

Search for what makes you feel ALIVE, not for what makes you a living!

Life is a gift from God, and you must make the best use of it.

What one action can you take to start living life in your own way - TODAY?

Remember - that is the only true success!

Affair stories to spice up your weekend

The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair with his secretary One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.' 'You lying !You've been playing golf!'

The 2nd Affair: A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied, 'Not this time!'

The 3rd Affair: A mortician was wor kin g late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have to show you something you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead?!?!'

The 4th Affair: A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue.' she replied. 'The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed.Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing'

The 5th Affair: A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied, 'Upstairs, with my wife.'The man asked, 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' The bartender replied, 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'

The 6th Affair: Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.He looked up and said weakly, 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to,' his wife replied.'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know, I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work its' way down to you'