p/s Raymond..u owe me a drink in Kuching..don't forget,
Chang, more good food in s'wak ok
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry X'MAS mates...........
It's Merry X'mas again, time past so fast, year after year,....best wishes and may santa claus brings more luck to us each day...HO!HO!HO!..
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Think Big, The Trump Way to Success
I just back from Kuching recently and I got a pleasant gift from Raymond. He bought me a book by Mr Donald Trump, "THINK BIG". I love the title very much and very much associated to my current business. In return to say thanks to Raymond is to finish reading the entire book and i just finished in record time, 2 days. It is my own record time and i found that human can do whatever they want if they are focus and committed to do it.
Well, here are some points that i would like to share with you all that i learn from this book:
1) Getting rich is tough, and people get hurt. You have to be as tough as nails and willing to kick as if you want to win.
2) Passion towards your job. Don't think about how you can make money. Instead think about what you can produce or what service you can offer that is valuable and useful to people and to your community.
3) Your word is golden, shaking hands with someone means you are making a deal
4)Develop your gut instinct and act on them. You will have your biggest successes when you go with your gut. Nobody knows everything.
5) Create your own luck. Luck does not come often enough. So when it does, be sure to take full advantage of it, even if it means working very hard. When luck is on your side it is not the time to be modest or timid. It is the time to go for the biggest success you can possibly achieve. That is the true meaning of thinking big.
6) Get the best people to work for you and don't trust him. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
7) If you are worried about being liked, you are in trouble. It is more important to be respected and feared than to be liked by employees.
8) Give people to opportunity to excel. Do not be too hard when they make mistakes; everyone makes mistakes. Always be willing to give someone who wants to do better a second chance.
9) In life, you have failures, and there is really nothing wrong with that, but when you have a failure, try not to blame other people.
10) Keep up with the momentum that you have created. To get momentum, you must first focus on a specific goal with passion and intensity. Your problem can be temporary if you keep your momentum moving forward. Again, it is all in how you look at things and how you define your situation.
11) Sometimes things happen that make you question whether you should keep going. As long as you are enjoying what you are doing and are making progress, keep going.
12) Don't let your eye off the ball. Things cannot and will not continue downward forever; they will always turn around. Think about all the good things you are going to do in life. Keep focused on your goal and never give up. Besides, bad times bring great opportunities.
13) Your road to the top will have a great number of detours, changes in direction, twists and turns. Expect an exciting, adventorous ride on your way to the top. It is interesting, it is fun, and it is definitely not predictable!
14) Adopt a big attitude to go with your big thinking. Everything you do in life, do with attitude. You are what you think you are. Ditch your doubts as it leads to failure.
15) Be choosy about your friends. Only hang out with people who truly want you to be successful
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Confidence is a Habit
When we get into the assertive habit, our automatic response to interpersonal situations is a feeling of confidence. As a result, we handle them with calm assurance and feel great. Confidence breeds confidence. If you want to get the same assertive habit, learn how to respond confidently to the following situations.
1. Handling Praise. It is natural to feel pleased when we are paid a compliment from people we care about but we should always remember that they are only the views of others and that such views can always change.
To handle compliments confidently, keep in mind these points...* watch for signs of praise-addiction. Praise is nice but it should not be necessary for our own self-esteem.* thank people simply. Don't dismiss it when someone offers you praise, however sincerely you believe it was meant.* use the technique of positive assertion and positive enquiry to find out what other people liked, so you can do more of it.
2. Handling Criticism. Criticism can hurt when it is expressed insensitively: "...I've only one criticism to make" or unskillfully: "...that was rubbish!"; or comes from people whose admiration we crave. When we are harshly criticised, it is tempting to either hit back at the critic or find someone else to blame. If we do neither of these, we may end up blaming ourselves and feeling bad.
The confident response to criticism is to...* get it straight in your head that this is only someone else's opinion. You can't make people like you.* take a wider view. Ask yourself how things will look in a month's time.* go to "the gallery". This is a place off-stage where you can consider what was said dispassionately.* try to swallow your pride and learn something from the criticism. You can do this by using the technique of negative enquiry and assertion.
3. Saying No. We all find ourselves occasionally in situations where we say "Yes" to others when we really want to say "No": the boss who uses the willing workhorse; the mother-in-law who invites herself to stay; the friend who insists on buying you another round. You may think you are being "nice" by going along with their request but the chances are they won't see it that way and will simply impose on you again. You have exposed your weakness for them to exploit.
Reacting angrily to what you might see as an unreasonable request is equally inappropriate. It may result in you being seen as hostile. In the workplace an angry refusal to do a piece of work may brand you as being un-cooperative. The only viable solution that does not upset others or make you feel bad is the confident one of saying No.
4. Overcoming Shyness. Overcoming shyness and acquiring poise requires a confident way of thinking together with the techniques of social manners. To learn the art of social poise?* make the first moves when you are in new surroundings; don't wait for others.* look relaxed and if you're not, make out you are* prepare by finding out who the guests are, what topics are likely to be of interest...then forget everything while you focus on them.* stay in low key, don't hog the conversation.* if you are being introduced to people who are on an equal social footing to you, mention what you have in common.* if you are being introduced to someone of a higher social status, stay neutral.* get genuinely interested in others whoever they are.* learn the tactic of freeing yourself from one person and joining another without causing upset.
5. Admitting You?re Wrong. It is fear of the consequences of "owning up" that leads many unassertive people to hesitate about admitting mistakes. Some of the irrational self-talk that takes place in the unassertive person is: "I must be perfect at all times" or "If I admit my mistakes, I'll lose my chance of promotion" or "They won't like me any more" or "I'll look bad in their eyes"
To confidently admit a mistake...* remind yourself of your right not to be perfect* own up as quickly and as simply as possible* apologise if the mistake has caused anyone any problems; if not, still apologise out of courtesy. Apologise once and leave it at that.* ask others for help to solve the problem* share the responsibility for putting things right.
6. Getting In Touch With Your Views. The aggressive and passive points of view see the world as hostile and competitive. Other people are there to be beaten or to beat us. The consequences of this view of the world is that we continually compare ourselves to others. In the aggressive stance, we seek to prove that we are better than others or, in the submissive mode, that they are better than us. The result is that we devalue our thoughts and feelings, believing that what others think or feel is more, or less, important than what we think or feel. We often make decisions about others according to their rank, status or position. The confident person makes no such value judgments. He or she gets in touch with their own point of view and expresses it openly and honestly.
7. Raising Your Self-Esteem. We are all children of the universe, born equal and with the same assertive rights. Our self?esteem does not change because of who we are with or because of what we do. We each have the assertive right to get in touch with our own views and opinions and express them.
* don't be overawed by others, no matter how loud they are, or what position in life they hold.* see yourself and others as being worthy in your own right, not because of what you do.* surround yourself with people who value you for who you are.* find a way to tune in to your own views. Don't feel you have to have a special, witty, clever, novel or trendy view. No view is also a view.* practice articulating both positive feelings and negative feelings.* find out which forms of expression you are best at.
Learn to apply these different responses in your own situations with other people and in time you will discover that you have mastered the valuable art of confidence.
1. Handling Praise. It is natural to feel pleased when we are paid a compliment from people we care about but we should always remember that they are only the views of others and that such views can always change.
To handle compliments confidently, keep in mind these points...* watch for signs of praise-addiction. Praise is nice but it should not be necessary for our own self-esteem.* thank people simply. Don't dismiss it when someone offers you praise, however sincerely you believe it was meant.* use the technique of positive assertion and positive enquiry to find out what other people liked, so you can do more of it.
2. Handling Criticism. Criticism can hurt when it is expressed insensitively: "...I've only one criticism to make" or unskillfully: "...that was rubbish!"; or comes from people whose admiration we crave. When we are harshly criticised, it is tempting to either hit back at the critic or find someone else to blame. If we do neither of these, we may end up blaming ourselves and feeling bad.
The confident response to criticism is to...* get it straight in your head that this is only someone else's opinion. You can't make people like you.* take a wider view. Ask yourself how things will look in a month's time.* go to "the gallery". This is a place off-stage where you can consider what was said dispassionately.* try to swallow your pride and learn something from the criticism. You can do this by using the technique of negative enquiry and assertion.
3. Saying No. We all find ourselves occasionally in situations where we say "Yes" to others when we really want to say "No": the boss who uses the willing workhorse; the mother-in-law who invites herself to stay; the friend who insists on buying you another round. You may think you are being "nice" by going along with their request but the chances are they won't see it that way and will simply impose on you again. You have exposed your weakness for them to exploit.
Reacting angrily to what you might see as an unreasonable request is equally inappropriate. It may result in you being seen as hostile. In the workplace an angry refusal to do a piece of work may brand you as being un-cooperative. The only viable solution that does not upset others or make you feel bad is the confident one of saying No.
4. Overcoming Shyness. Overcoming shyness and acquiring poise requires a confident way of thinking together with the techniques of social manners. To learn the art of social poise?* make the first moves when you are in new surroundings; don't wait for others.* look relaxed and if you're not, make out you are* prepare by finding out who the guests are, what topics are likely to be of interest...then forget everything while you focus on them.* stay in low key, don't hog the conversation.* if you are being introduced to people who are on an equal social footing to you, mention what you have in common.* if you are being introduced to someone of a higher social status, stay neutral.* get genuinely interested in others whoever they are.* learn the tactic of freeing yourself from one person and joining another without causing upset.
5. Admitting You?re Wrong. It is fear of the consequences of "owning up" that leads many unassertive people to hesitate about admitting mistakes. Some of the irrational self-talk that takes place in the unassertive person is: "I must be perfect at all times" or "If I admit my mistakes, I'll lose my chance of promotion" or "They won't like me any more" or "I'll look bad in their eyes"
To confidently admit a mistake...* remind yourself of your right not to be perfect* own up as quickly and as simply as possible* apologise if the mistake has caused anyone any problems; if not, still apologise out of courtesy. Apologise once and leave it at that.* ask others for help to solve the problem* share the responsibility for putting things right.
6. Getting In Touch With Your Views. The aggressive and passive points of view see the world as hostile and competitive. Other people are there to be beaten or to beat us. The consequences of this view of the world is that we continually compare ourselves to others. In the aggressive stance, we seek to prove that we are better than others or, in the submissive mode, that they are better than us. The result is that we devalue our thoughts and feelings, believing that what others think or feel is more, or less, important than what we think or feel. We often make decisions about others according to their rank, status or position. The confident person makes no such value judgments. He or she gets in touch with their own point of view and expresses it openly and honestly.
7. Raising Your Self-Esteem. We are all children of the universe, born equal and with the same assertive rights. Our self?esteem does not change because of who we are with or because of what we do. We each have the assertive right to get in touch with our own views and opinions and express them.
* don't be overawed by others, no matter how loud they are, or what position in life they hold.* see yourself and others as being worthy in your own right, not because of what you do.* surround yourself with people who value you for who you are.* find a way to tune in to your own views. Don't feel you have to have a special, witty, clever, novel or trendy view. No view is also a view.* practice articulating both positive feelings and negative feelings.* find out which forms of expression you are best at.
Learn to apply these different responses in your own situations with other people and in time you will discover that you have mastered the valuable art of confidence.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The success Fact
There is a lot of confusion as to what exactly success is.
First, 'success' is different for each person.
Your idea of success is just as valid as my idea of what success is.
We have that right, to decide. What is success.
It kills me though that there are a lot of beliefs people hold that keep them from getting even their version of success.
So, for your reading, and pondering, pleasure, here are a few of the real facts about success.
Some of them aren't pretty :-)
Fact: Success looks a lot like work.
Fact: Work can be fun -- even easy.
Fact: You don't have to be beautiful.
Fact: You don't have to be a genius.
Fact: You don't have to be 'born with a gift.'
Fact: You don't have to be born rich.
Fact: You don't need more discipline.
Fact: You DO need a precise and easy to follow structure.
Fact: Success and Luck share this in common; Neither are ever 'found'. Both are prepared for and created.
Fact: Only you can decide what you really want.
Fact: Only you can decide why you must have it.
Fact: Only you can define what success means to you.
Fact: You must decide that you are responsible for your life.
Fact: You must decide specifically what you want.
Fact: You must decide specifically when you want it.
Fact: You must decide specifically the steps you need to take.
Fact: You must decide that you must succeed.
Fact: You must be willing to accept success when it comes.
Fact: You must take action.
Fact: You are not alone.
First, 'success' is different for each person.
Your idea of success is just as valid as my idea of what success is.
We have that right, to decide. What is success.
It kills me though that there are a lot of beliefs people hold that keep them from getting even their version of success.
So, for your reading, and pondering, pleasure, here are a few of the real facts about success.
Some of them aren't pretty :-)
Fact: Success looks a lot like work.
Fact: Work can be fun -- even easy.
Fact: You don't have to be beautiful.
Fact: You don't have to be a genius.
Fact: You don't have to be 'born with a gift.'
Fact: You don't have to be born rich.
Fact: You don't need more discipline.
Fact: You DO need a precise and easy to follow structure.
Fact: Success and Luck share this in common; Neither are ever 'found'. Both are prepared for and created.
Fact: Only you can decide what you really want.
Fact: Only you can decide why you must have it.
Fact: Only you can define what success means to you.
Fact: You must decide that you are responsible for your life.
Fact: You must decide specifically what you want.
Fact: You must decide specifically when you want it.
Fact: You must decide specifically the steps you need to take.
Fact: You must decide that you must succeed.
Fact: You must be willing to accept success when it comes.
Fact: You must take action.
Fact: You are not alone.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Christmas Carol...
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake,
OH You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake,
OH You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Im Home after a Tough Day
Hi brothers and sisters, im just back home approximately 8.30pm. It might still early but my mind was exchausted. Last nite i really did not slept much because my mind was working hard as i already anticipated a lot of tasks need to be done. During day and nite time on sunday, i was planning my work for today, think of the "words" to speak to my customers so not to hurt them.
Well, since i anticipate a tough day for today, i woke up at 6.45am as usual. Before i went to office, i make time to pray Kuan Yin at my wife house for blessing. I promised Kuan Yin that i work very hard everyday and i never let "her" dissapointed. I arrived office at 8am and used to be the first one in office and quickly began with my paperworks. The paperwork was really a bulk of it, always never get done, unfortunately the agency clerk cabut already, and when i logon to my company portal, it was system done. Shit, can't do anything about it, no complaint but to report to HQ as soon as possible and i manage to get it done after lunch. My boss seem so happy about it, got somebody to do the job for him.
Then, i called up my customer where his nephew admitted to General Hospital yesterday, he was a young man, honestly i never met him before yet he is my customer, his uncle used to deal with me and paid for his premium. This young man never back home to Tapah and was met with accident at about 4am according to police report and fell down to nearby drained and left coma. Then, his friends who went along him never wait for ambulance to arrive and sent his buddy to Hospital Ipoh by motorcycle, unbelievable.! He had an operation at about 8am yesterday to remove the blog clog inside the brain. The operation was successful and was sent to ICU for monitoring. He had about 100 relatives and friends outside the ICU, gosh, until u can't breath, so many of them. Then today, his uncle asked me to prepare transfer his nephew to private hospital, and i prepared but his uncle said not for time being citing the NEUROSERGEON fly all the way from KL to treat him and was one of his father best buddy. What a small world, thus i continue with my work.
Next, i have to prepare a customer who would like to meet me at my office, tell you something, in insurance, when customer come to your place usually not a good news, that what i encounter for the, past 6 years, so true it was piece of bad news. The customer came with all her family members meet me at my office, i already prepared all the documents to answer her objection and to satisfy her. She have some doubts about her investment linked policies and went to Ipoh RSC to seek clarification. The answers by the staff make her so worried and immediately call me and scold heavily by her. I stay cool, calm all the time during the tele conversation and arrange for a face to face meeting. i invite her to come to my office and she did make herself available today and we spend about 1 hours in discussion. I explained everything again to her together with hard facts, she was impressed with me and my tone voice was humble all the time, never raise my voice everytime. Done, she was smiled all the way and decided to continue the policy that she bought, i was so happy about it, all the "thinking" on sunday did not waste at all.
Once done, i went to collect premium at customer place and then Agency Director would like to meet me on my business plan as Unit Manager and we discussed about 2 hours. Then, im so tired but i have to be at OLYMPIA COLLEGE about 6.30pm to meet some of the students to assist them in writing thesis. But i arrived at 7.30pm, an hour late, i got to apologize to them and manage to guide them smoothly. I stop lecturing for a while coz i really don't have much time in my timetable and to be honest during my lecture days, im so popular among the students and almost everyone would like me to become their research supervisor. However, im only allowed to have 6 students maximum, left many of them dissapointed.
At 8.30pm im done, my mind blanked and i have to be back coz my mom always wait for me dinner and we chat during the dinner. I asked her to help me to buy bus ticket to KL on thusday to meet my dad. While im blogging, my mom went to my room and informed me that my brother Henry and his gf Karen got a new job which introduced by my dad and a good pay also. Hey bro, remember to treat your DAD a good lunch, he work so damn hard everyday, don't let him dissapointed ok. I will do the same.
Ok, im so tired, will go to bed soon..take care.
Have a nice day.
Quote of the Day
" Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit. " Love and appreciate all the women in your life.
best wishes for the day...my timetable was pack for today, best of luck!!!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Ducks Quack and Eagle Soars
A real classic........a little something I would like to share with you :)
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.....................
No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.....................
No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.' Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment. This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.' Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.' As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card.. '
These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.' And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts. 'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?' Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself.
He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'' 'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.' 'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said. 'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year.
This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.' Wally was phenomenal.
He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting. Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles..
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.....The ball is in our hands!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Class with Warren Buffet
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha , that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis. He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television.
8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
His advice to young people:
His advice to young people:
"Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and Remember:
A. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don't do what others say, just listen to them, but do what makes you feel good.
D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which you feel comfortable.
E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on things that you really need.
F. After all it's your life, then why give others the chance to rule your life."
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don't do what others say, just listen to them, but do what makes you feel good.
D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which you feel comfortable.
E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on things that you really need.
F. After all it's your life, then why give others the chance to rule your life."
Relatioinships as a Busy Street
In looking at your life, do you feel as if you're standing in the middle of a busy street and noisy traffic is careening all around you? You're so busy avoiding the chaos, you don't take the time to understand your entrapment. But if you make your way out of the traffic by stepping up on the curb, you can observe all the movement and see that no matter how busy the street, there are clear areas -- breaks in the traffic. Next, imagine yourself going up to the fourth floor of a tall building and looking down upon the street. It looks different from here. There is direction and flow. And from this perspective it does not have much to do with you. It is just going on.
And if you go on up to the top of this tall building and look down you will see that the traffic is simply patterns. From here you can see other streets that are part of the patterns. Areas of difficulty, where the traffic gets stuck, are just part of the whole -- not good or bad, just part of life.
The more self-actualized you become, the more you can appreciate the flow, and jam-ups, and patterns as what is. You learn to become a witness of life, without getting caught up in the drama. This is learning to be in the world but not of it. From this perspective, you can see the confusion for what it is, and return to the street in the middle of the traffic without being affected by it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Immigration Security Check
'May I know your name?'
Passenger : 'Batman'
Immigration Official : 'What's your name!?'
Passenger : 'My name is Bat-man'
Immigration Official: 'Trying to be funny!? What's your surname?'
Passenger : 'Super-man'
Immigration Official : 'So you're telling me your name is Batman Superman?'
Passenger : 'Yes'
Immigration Official : 'Arrest this guy...'
When they had him in custody, he was asked to show his identification card:
Friday, October 31, 2008
Beckham head for Italian Pizza...
David Beckham will have only two months to make an impact at AC Milan after clinching a loan move to the Serie A giants on Thursday. The 33-year-old England midfielder will join Milan on January 7 and could make his debut four days later away to Roma.David Beckham's presence failed to inspire Galaxy to great things during the MLS this season.
But he must return to the Los Angeles Galaxy by early March, to prepare for the Major League Soccer season, which is expected to start on March 19. All parties concerned are content with the terms of the deal, which was struck in Milan a week earlier than anticipated.
Milan director Umberto Gandini told Sky Sports News: ''The deal will be as long as David wishes. I think his commitment to MLS and Los Angeles Galaxy will take him back after a couple of months. I think he will have to go back to Galaxy by the time the MLS starts, and training before that.''
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
To Be Success You Must Think Success
You must know the type of the person who has the Midas touch. That person who, no matter what they do, come out smelling of roses. They don't work particularly harder than anyone else, they just seem to have that knack of 'striking gold'. Opportunities seem to come their way and, to be fair, they know how to make the best of them.
Other people seem to struggle financially no matter what they do. They may be able to make ends meet, but enjoying greater comforts in life, seems beyond their reach. No matter how hard they work, they cannot seem to break this cycle. They wonder why is it so hard for them to prosper financially, while it seems so easy and for others. What does the first type of person have that the second type doesn't?
The first type of person simply believes that they should be wealthy, and sees no reason, or problem why they should not be. This quality sounds quite simple, but it is actually very rare when you think about it.
Most of us are brought up to believe that if you work hard in your education, work hard in your job, then invest your money wisely, you will prosper financially. At school we are all told this. However you must ask yourself how many people become really wealthy because of their job? Some, but not many. Most people in employment, even with good jobs, are still dependant on that job. Employers will never pay you enough to be financially secure - if they did this, you would not work for them. Most people are paid just over what they need. I have heard of the term J.O.B. - Just Over Broke! Why are we told this then? Could it be that we are being manipulated? At school, children are never encouraged to start up their own businesses, or to take risks, but I digress.
The reasons for our financial struggles are buried deep within our subconscious minds in the form of our ideas and our beliefs. Many people deep down have an ingrained belief that if you have money it somehow makes you a bad person. They believe that the less money you have, the more spiritual and a good person you are. An over attachment to material things certainly could make it more challenging to progress spiritually. However it is also challenging to consider your spiritual wellbeing and the wellbeing of others around you if you are constantly worrying about your financial situation.
Probably for thousands of years, the only people who benefited from the idea that poverty is a noble thing are those who wanted to control others. The feudal lords through to today's large corporations all know this. It is much easier to control people who need your help, than those who have all their financial needs met. Ask yourself honestly how much has struggling to make ends meet ever benefited you or your family.
Many people also have an ingrained belief that making money is hard, and that they have to suffer for it, or that they have to struggle for it. They will have been told this many times, by their parents, at school, and those around them. They consequently live their lives, and made their decisions based on this. Two problems then arise because of this mindset. Either the person does not try to make big money because they believe it is too difficult, or they choose to make money, but do it the hard way, and either give up, or content themselves with making a little. Simply believing that you can make money without working yourself to the bone, opens up this possibility.
Many of these limiting beliefs are also inherited by the family. Your parents may tell you many times through your impressionable childhood days that making money is too difficult, and rich people are bad etc. They were probably told the same by their parents, who were told the same by their parents. And if you are not careful, you could pass this same negative mind set about money down to your children. If you don't owe it to yourself, then don't you at least owe it to your children to allow them to think freely, in a way that allows them to build wealth, should they choose to? The best way is to lead by example. Allow yourself to dream, and work towards that dream.
Some people are used to living with a victim state of mind. They may feel uncomfortable with the idea of taking responsibility for their lives. That idea may scare them because they cannot then use any excuses, cannot blame anything else. Some people have been brought up with a belief that a "poor me" attitude will bring them certain benefits. If they appear to be suffering, people will care for them because they feel sorry for them. However people will only help you a certain amount. If you want the good things in life, then you must be prepared to take responsibility for your actions, whether things are going well or not, and work towards getting them.
The final barrier to your financial success may be down to fears about what happens when you do have money. You may fear being harassed by so called 'friends'. You may fear having to deal with financial institutions in order to look after your money. You may even fear that you cannot handle wealth. However life is not all about money. You should become financially wealthy not just because of money, but because of the qualities you need to develop within yourself in order to become financially wealthy. Whilst building up your empire, you will learn how to deal with people trying to take your money. You will learn how to deal with financial institutions, and how to handle it. It takes time to make lots of money, but it certainly can be done. What you learn whilst doing this, will prepare you for this type of lifestyle. And if you have been clever and worked hard, you will automatically respect this money, as you know the effort you put in to achieve it. The real worry is for those who suddenly come into a lot of money, such as winning the lottery, or a large inheritance. These people may still have all the limiting beliefs, and have no idea what to do with the money. Their subconscious mind will make decisions that will sabotage this wealth, unless they quickly change their mindset. How many times have you heard about someone winning the lottery, spending all the money over a relatively short space of time, and then saying they wished they never won it in the first place? That is because they simply did not have the time to develop themselves to be able to handle this wealth, and so their minds acted in a way to make them 'comfortable' again - comfortably poor!
So there you have it, by simply changing your mind set, you can give yourself a lot better chance of attaining wealth and success. You can remove the mental barriers and then be able to really work towards the financial success that you deserve. Hypnosis can help you achieve this quite quickly and easily. I'll bet you that if you removed all the wealth from someone like Bill Gates, he would quickly bounce back, should he choose to. He would not sit back and make excuses and think 'What is the point, it'll all go wrong anyway'. He would go out there and make things happen, because he believes that he can make things happen. Believing that it can be done is half the battle. Without the belief, you are never going to take the actions necessary to make it happen.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
30th Annivesary Jokes
When Bill and Hillary C. first got married, Bill said, I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it.' In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked.
However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, 'I am so sorry.
For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?' Bill thought for a while and said, 'I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth.
Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.'Hillary was shocked, but said, 'I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together.'
They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, 'So why do you have all that money in the box?' Bill answered, 'Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.'
However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, 'I am so sorry.
For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?' Bill thought for a while and said, 'I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth.
Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.'Hillary was shocked, but said, 'I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together.'
They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, 'So why do you have all that money in the box?' Bill answered, 'Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.'
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Life move so fast
Good friends are like stars...
You don't always see them, but you know they are always there...
"Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today"
How Quickly the years pass...
You don't always see them, but you know they are always there...
"Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today"
How Quickly the years pass...
Life is Short, Break the Rules...
Forgive quickly, kiss slowly,
Love truly, laugh uncontrollably
and never regret anything that make you smile
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What makes entreprenuer successful?
The field of information marketing has opened doors to limitless opportunities for lucrative online, home-based businesses. Yet, according to the Small Business Association more than half of all new businesses still continue to fail. There are many reasons why new businesses fail to succeed. But the biggest reason is unsuccessful entrepreneurs fail to take action. Many entrepreneurs face too many distractions, a lack of knowledge, competing priorities, poor planning and time management issues, to name a few.
1. Good is Good Enough
Knowing when to stop trying to achieve perfection is an important part of speed implementation. Trying to be perfect is near impossible and, in the mean time, someone else is capitalizing on your idea. Sometimes it's ok to learn from mistakes as you go.
Knowing when to stop trying to achieve perfection is an important part of speed implementation. Trying to be perfect is near impossible and, in the mean time, someone else is capitalizing on your idea. Sometimes it's ok to learn from mistakes as you go.
2. High Payoff Focus
Understanding the difference between a distraction and a high payoff opportunity is like money in the bank. Focus your time and energy on the things that get you results quickly.
3. Power Planning
By creating a written plan and strategy for success, you will be able to identify weaknesses and potential roadblocks. This will also help you delegate to others. Create a checklist and a timeline for when tasks need to be done. Find ways to delegate to others, and research opportunities to use outside resources that will reduce the time you spend on tasks like billing, website updates and fielding of phone calls. Interns, stay-at-home moms and retirees can make great part-time team members.
4. Speed Decision Making
Flip-flopping, procrastinating and dragging your feet will only sap your momentum. Gather important information such as:
- How much money will it cost?- How much time will it take?- How do I make my money back?
Make a decision based on the facts you gather and move on.
5. Ruthless Time Management
Great time managers have a crystal-clear focus on what's important. They know how to implement boundaries so they don't get distracted. Try building regular time into your schedule to accomplish tasks related to your new venture and stick to that schedule.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Handling the Crisis du jour
The world thrives on one crisis after another. When one crisis has run its course, news people come up others to take its place. This is as predictable as the sunrise.
This kind of "news" brings out all the gurus, self-appointed "experts", analysts and "preachers of doom" only too willing to share their views on any given subject. However articulate they may be, seldom, if ever, do they offer any viable solution to the problem. And if they do, it is immediately challenged with hostility and rejection.
Is there a real solution? Of course there is! It has been articulated by serious thinkers throughout history but nobody is listening. In more recent times, it has been presented by Dr. Einstein when he noted that, "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew".
Every problem, every crisis, every conflict, whether personal, professional, corporate, national or international can only be resolved by this self-evident rule. However difficult it may seem, the law demands that we see the troubled world from a completely opposite point of view. The opposite of chaos, turmoil and discord is harmony, balance and perpetual well being.
Where does all this take place? Think about it. The only PLACE it can occur is in your conscious awareness. Your experiences take place within you; they are not a "something" that occurs externally "out there" somewhere. This is your "mindset" which, by definition, "determines and influences events and circumstances" (Webster).
This new, opposite world is embodied in the universe which is defined by Webster as,"The whole body of things observed or assumed; including the whole without limit or exception; accruing everywhere". There is no room for chaos, confusion or conflict here!
QUESTION: The infinite universe, being the only reality, wherein does this "thing" they call a "crisis" come from?
ANSWER: It doesn't come from anywhere; it is merely the unawareness or absence of the answer. It can have no more real existence than a counterfeit dollar bill can have without there being a genuine dollar bill to be a counterfeit of.
What is termed a "crisis" is only the absence or unawareness of the answer. It is an illusory, misinterpretation of the harmony and balance already in full operation in the universe of which we are an inexorable part. In reality, the only way we can experience this illusory "thing" they call a crisis is to accept it as real. To the degree that we can separate ourselves from it and identify ourselves with the "controlling forces of the universe without limit or exception", can we prove it in the "events and circumstances" that comprise our life experiences.
This is more than a nice comfortable philosophical, abstract or academic statement. It is the LAW! "Law" is defined by Webster as, "A rule or principle that always works and is enforced by a governing authority".
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Power of Salesmanship
Most salespeople are terrible at sales. They believe that the secret to their sales success is hard work, and more hard work. Some believe that learning more closes is the answer. The truth is that the only person in the equation who can truly close your customer, is your customer!
If you are not allowing your customer's own subconscious mind to do your work for you, you are swimming upstream, and you working way too hard!
99.9% of all sales is emotion-based, not logic-based. Your customer is going to make their buying decision based on their inner, intangible, and unseen creation of an emotional connection with the buying experience.
Then, and only then, will they begin to use 'logic'. And their logic will be used to rationalize and support their 'emotionally based' decision to buy.
Most salespeople have absolutely no idea of the true, higher-level concept of connection with their customer, how it is created, and what to do with it. They unknowingly stand in the way of their own sales success by not allowing their customers to close themselves. Is this you?
You must create a "safe-harbor" connection with them. They must not only feel like you are just like them, but that you do 'like' them. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and no one wants to feel judged.
Friday, October 3, 2008
tougue twisters
1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Maaf Zahir dan Batin
Top Six Reasons To Forgive No one can change the past, but you do have the power to upgrade how you feel about it, and that makes all the difference. You can take your power back from all those painful memories, and make peace with your past. Forgiveness heals the guilt and the hurt, and does this quietly, privately, and thoroughly. Forgiveness does not mean that you let anyone off the hook, it means that your present happiness is more important than your past suffering. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful things done to you, it means that you reclaim your right to run your own life.
Right now those hurtful things are running your life, and how is that working for you? The people who hurt you may have ruined your yesterdays, but only you are in charge of your tomorrows. And if you feel guilt over people that you have hurt, forgiving yourself will heal you and allow you to move forward with a happier attitude and a healthier body.
So here are the top six reasons to forgive.
1 You will feel better and laugh more. Resolving all that negative spin from your past allows you to enjoy yourself and have the daily fun you really want. Your buttons will stop being pushed because they will be gone. You see, guilt and hatred resolve nothing, they just sustain the negativity that continues to stop you from reaching your personal and professional goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to all those unhappy yesterdays, and this returns your personal energy to your present life, and you get more done. Forgiveness is excellent for improved prosperity and success in every area of your life.
2 You will be healthier. Carrying negativity appears to cause many physical ills. The body and the mind are the same thing. Just as ice and steam are still basically water, your body and your mind are simply different manifestations of your spirit. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Forgiveness heals.
3 People will like you better.You will be a more enjoyable person to be around, and will attract more positive people to your life. Humans are imperfect, and we all make mistakes. One trait of positive people is that they take life less personally, and readily forgive mistakes as they happen. On the other hand, perfectionists are often miserable people, having standards way too high to be reached. Would you settle for mere excellence? Then do so, and your relations with others will improve immediately. Perfectionists are all about judgement, whereas happy people are all about smiles. Sure, there are fights worth fighting, but if you live is one long series of fights with other people, the exhaustion must be terrible for you. Forgive and life improves. It really is that simple.
4 You will stop the constant suffering. Forgive others exactly because what happened was not your fault. Ask yourself: What was done to me? How long ago did all that happen? Are those hurtful people still in my life? Why should I keep suffering for what someone else did? Since it was not my fault, why am I still paying for it? Of course you have suffered way too long and way too much already. And those hurtful people have probably been gone from your life for years. So let the suffering stop right now. Forgive them.
And it may be that complete, one hundred percent may not be possible for you at first, and that is fine. Not to worry, because you can start with a small percentage of forgiveness and work up. How about forgiving them ten percent? Twenty? Eighty? Even five percent forgiveness is an excellent step in the right direction. The more you forgive, the better you will feel.
5 You have punished yourself long enough. Self forgiveness stops the overwhelming feelings of guilt that obstruct your happiness. Ask yourself: What was my crime? How long ago did that happen? Am I still doing stuff like that? If I had been imprisoned for it, would I be out by now? You have likely already punished yourself way too much, and it is time to grant yourself a full pardon. Forgive does not mean forget, it means accepting responsibility, and moving on with your life in positive ways, having learned your lessons. You can stop spinning over how you used to be and get on with creating the good life you have always deserved. So forgive yourself. Today. Right now. Since you cannot undo what you did, you must do the next best thing, and that is to face what happened, and then let the blame go.
6 No one needs to know. Forgiveness happens privately, between you and God, or between you and your higher self. You do not need to call anyone up or write any letters. Forgiveness is an internal healing, and it is all about you. Other people will have to forgive themselves for what they did. Your concern is you. You evolve all the time anyway, so why not evolve for the better?
And here is how do forgiveness. As you remember past events and the people involved, feel forgiveness flow from your heart out to them and back to yourself. Visualize what happened and who was there, forgiving everything and everyone involved. If you are not particularly visual, that is not a problem at all, since you can just sense and feel what happened, and process from there. Sensing and feeling work just as well as visualizing.
If anger arises when you think of some people, then in the privacy of your own thoughts, confront them. Tell them how you feel about what happened, and spend all of that anger you feel toward them. Tell them all the things you would never say to their face, but need to express. And then forgive them.
You may need to feel forgiven by your higher power. Please know that God forgives you the first time you ask, so only ask once. If you have to ask twice, then it is you who is not forgiving you. Forgive yourself fully knowing that God never needs to be asked twice.
Ultimate Caring in Life
Many people have the ability to truly care and receive joy when caring from the heart. Yet even very caring people sometimes find themselves using caring as a form of control. Take a moment right now to think about a situation today in which you were caring - at home, at work, with a friend, or with someone you don't know such as a salesperson or a waiter. Are you willing to be completely honest with yourself regarding why you were caring? If you are, then go inside and notice if your caring had any outcome attached to it. Is there something you wanted from the other person? Is there some reason you were caring other than caring for the joy of it?
Ask yourself these questions:
* Was there some part of me that was trying to control what the other person thought of me? Was I behaving in a caring way to get attention, approval, validation, love, time, or sex?
* Was there a part of me hoping that my caring would result in monetary gain? Was I acting caring in the hopes of getting the other person to trust me enough to participate in some way that would bring me more money?
None of us like to think of ourselves as manipulative, yet we all have a part of us that wants control over getting what we want, and we may have learned to use our caring as one form of control.
While caring as a form of control may seem to work at times, it will never bring you joy. You might receive approval or sex or money, but something will always seem to be missing from your life. Getting what you believe you want may feel good for the moment, but it will never bring you the deep joy that results when caring from the heart with no agenda or attachment to outcomes.
When we are caring from the heart, we become, as Mother Teresa said, "God's pencil." We are giving to others just for the sake of expressing what is most beautiful about life - caring about each other. Giving to others from an open heart fills the soul with joy.
You can express this pure caring only when you are also caring about yourself. If you are not giving yourself the attention, validation, and love that we all need, then you will covertly be trying to get this from others. Others will pick up the "giving to get" energy and may not feel your "caring." In fact, others may even become resistant to receiving your caring because it feels controlling to them - and it is.
We can be caring purely for the joy of it only when we are taking 100% responsibility for ourselves - for thinking and behaving in ways that lead to inner safety and a deep sense of self worth. When we are not doing this for ourselves, then we need this from others, and we will be unable to be caring without strings attached.
It is in primary relationships with mates, children, and parents, that our giving to get has the most negative consequences. No one likes to be controlled by others, so when you give with an agenda, you may encounter anger and/or withdrawal. Your loved ones might not even know why they are angry or withdrawn. They just know that something feels bad inside them when you are "caring" about them.
While the outward behavior may look exactly the same when you are caring with an agenda or caring for the joy of it, energetically these two intentions feel totally different to others. If others are not responsive to your caring, you might want to honestly look at your intent in being caring.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Question that always haunt us!!!
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Something to Ponder Again...
The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.
The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]
The Pretty Lady
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.
All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of acussations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite. The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'
[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.]
The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
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