malaysian humour

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:

Maggi Mee.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:

Traffic Jam.

NATIONAL CONDOM:

None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:

Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:

Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start
swearing at everything...

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):

Food Poisoning.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):

Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, period, haven't removed make-up, haven't had a shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Desperate Housewives', depressed, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:

None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:

Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):

The sight of a police roadblock.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:

Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:

Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say 'Pew Jeot'. When I was in school, Milo was always 'MeeLo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say 'My Lo'. So don't be embarassed saying 'Carry 4' when the ! Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as 'rangootan'.

NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:

The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes 'bouncing' about on the streets. haha...

I like all these facts but we are all so shy to admit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)