Wednesday, September 24, 2008
You GottA READ THIS STORY
The Power of Intent
Imagine two big spotlights. One is pointed upward, casting light far into the air. The other is pointed downward and buried into the earth - no light is cast at all.
This is like intent.
There are only two possible intentions in any given moment: the intent to learn about loving yourself and others, and the intent to protect against pain with some form of controlling behavior.
When you consciously choose the intent to learn, your light points upward, shining upon the truth that will guide you in your highest good. Your mind opens and becomes a receiver of the information you need to support yourself in manifesting your dreams. Consciously choosing the intent to learn is the most powerful thing we can do. When we consciously choose the intent to learn, we open ourselves to our Higher Self - the part of us that connects us with the information and creativity in the universe.
When we unconsciously choose the intent to control, we shut off access to truth. Our mind closes and becomes like a closed circuit TV - recycling the old information that has been programmed into our mind. We become stuck in our limited mind, operating from the false beliefs that we learned as we were growing up. We become stuck in the past, recreating old hurts.
The challenge here is that our unconscious automatic choice is to control. When we were growing up, we all had to learn many ways to control to survive the challenges of childhood. We learned ways of trying to have control over how people feel about us and treat us, such as anger, blame, judgment, righteousness, or compliance. We learned ways to protect against losing ourselves to another's control, such as resisting or withdrawing. We learned many addictive ways of avoiding feeling our pain, such using food, drugs, alcohol, TV, Internet, sex, work, sports, gambling, shopping, self-judgment, and so on - all to have control over not feeling our painful feelings.
Most people immediately, and unconsciously, choose the intent to control the moment they feel any anxiety. The problem is that the intent to control is self-abandonment, always causing even more fear, anxiety or depression. Instead of shining the light of love upon your distress in order to learn and heal, you shove the light into the ground, causing more darkness.
Choosing your intent is the essence of free will, and it determines what you feel and what you manifest. While you might have momentary pleasure when something good happens, the deep joy and wellbeing that we all seek, and the ability to manifest your dreams, is the result of your intent to learn about loving yourself and others.
The challenge in our lives is to REMEMBER that we are at choice - to remember to choose the intent to learn.
How can you remember to consciously choose the intent to learn? How can you remember, the moment you feel any fear, anxiety, or any stress, to open to learning about what you are thinking or doing that is creating this stress? What can you do to stop your automatic reactive controlling behavior?
First of all, you need to accept that this is a lifetime practice - not something that will occur quickly. We have all been practicing the intent to control for most of our lives, so it will take much practice to even remember that there is another choice.
The place to start is to practice noticing your feelings throughout a day. Perhaps wearing a rubber band that you can snap on your wrist will remind you to check inside to see how you are feeling. You cannot begin to learn about your thoughts and actions that are causing your feelings until you are aware of your painful feelings. You cannot stop your addictive anesthetics until you are WILLING to feel your feelings and take responsibility for them.
If you decide that you are willing to feel your feelings, that willingness will lead you to becoming more and more conscious of your feelings. This is the beginning of being able to consciously choose your intent to learn.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Manulife in talks with AIG

Manulife executives, led by CEO Dominic D'Alessandro, met with financial advisers late last week to consider ways to exploit AIG's probable breakup, sources said.
Buying all of AIG, or big parts of it, would propel Manulife to the top rank of the global financial services industry.
It could also severely damage the company if the hurricanes hitting Wall Street do not lose their fury.
Manulife Financial
American International Group
Mr. D'Alessandro isn't talking about Manulife's plans and did not return e-mails seeking comment. Manulife spokeswoman Laurie Lupton declined to comment yesterday.
AIG, the world's biggest insurer, would have collapsed had the U.S. Federal Reserve not agreed to lend it up to $85-billion (U.S.) in exchange for 79.9 per cent of its equity, making its rescue a de facto nationalization. Analysts expect AIG to be sold, in whole or in part.
While other insurers, ranging from Germany's Munich Re to Australia's QBE Insurance, are also potential bidders for large chunks of AIG, Manulife is viewed by some as a more logical suitor.
The Toronto-based insurer is a strong player in a weak market.
Like other insurers and banks that escaped the worst of the credit crunch, the company is ready to feast on the remains of the companies consumed by their own excesses, analysts said.
In a note published last Wednesday, Citigroup insurance industry analyst Colin Devine called Manulife, Canada's largest insurer, "an ideal candidate to make an aggressive bid for AIG."
"We consider [Manulife] the only insurer in the world with sufficient balance sheet strength that would allow it to bid for all of AIG's U.S. and Asian life insurance businesses," Mr. Devine said in his report.
Manulife's share price - $35.15 on Friday - is only 24 per cent off its 52-week high, giving it a market value of $52-billion.
Its profits, balance sheet and investment portfolio are robust and its insurance subsidiaries are rated triple-A, Standard & Poor's top rating. It has $3-billion in excess capital and could borrow much more to finance a deal.
Mr. D'Alessandro, 62, is set to step down as CEO by next spring, and he is to be replaced by chief investment officer Don Guloien. With little more than half a year to go, Mr. D'Alessandro might be reluctant to plunge himself and his executives into yet another transformational deal. Nor could he do it without Mr. Guloien's approval. Whatever Mr. D'Alessandro starts, his successor will have to finish.
But Mr. D'Alessandro has always wanted to build a Canadian-based global champion, and prizes like AIG come along only once in a century.
AIG's share have gone from a high of $70.11 to about $4, giving the biggest name in the business a market value of a mere $10-billion. The insurer's Asian business would turn Manulife into a powerhouse in that part of the world. Manulife is already third among foreign insurers, measured by earnings contribution from Asia. AIG is first, with 70 per cent of its earnings from Asia.
Analysts say AIG's crown jewels are its Asian operations and the group pension business in the United States. The U.S. business would be doubly attractive to Manulife because of the synergy potential with John Hancock, the big U.S. insurer bought by Manulife in 2004 for about $11-billion.
AIG is certainly a target. Its loan from the Fed comes at a punitive interest rate - 8.5 percentage points above the London interbank offered rate (Libor). The expensive loan gives AIG a huge incentive to unload assets so it can pay back the money quickly. Even before last week's nightmare, AIG had announced its intention to sell International Lease Finance Corp., the largest aircraft leasing business.
Manulife could make a quick offer for the whole company, which would please the regulators.
The problem is that the toxin levels in AIG's portfolios are not known. Buying certain divisions would be far less risky for Manulife or any other bidder.
The risk that comes with buying divisions instead of the whole company is getting trapped in bidding wars with powerful foreign rivals eager to build their U.S. presence.
Buying parts of AIG would be very much in character for Mr. D'Alessandro, who turned Manulife into a perpetual motion machine. Under him, the company de-mutualized and joined the stock market in 1999. He was keen to have a takeover to build the company.
In 2002, he bought Zurich Life's Canadian arm and tried to buy CIBC, an effort that was stopped by John Manley, the finance minister at the time. A year later, he landed John Hancock. Businesses were collected across Asia.
Today, Manulife is the top insurer in Canada, the second-biggest in North America and the sixth-biggest in the world. Half of its earnings come from the United States, with the other half split between Asia and Canada.
Size doesn't guarantee success, as AIG found. But Manulife is no AIG. While it has been an aggressive purchaser of companies, it was careful not to pay too much. In 2003, for instance, it ended its pursuit of Canada Life when the bidding got too rich (Great-West Lifeco was the winner).
Crucially, it shied away from products that seemed too good to be true, like credit default swaps, or CDSs, which are insurance against defaults on assets linked to corporate debt and mortgage securities. AIG teetered when it was downgraded by S&P on Sept. 15 and was suddenly unable to come up with the collateral to back its swaps. That's when the Fed came charging to the rescue. Its collapse would have sent financial shockwaves around the planet.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Iron Lady Fall Sick
Gosh, how pain in your heart, time for me to take care of her, brought her bread, ensure she took medicine on time. Today, usually her busy day as so many football matches been live telecast on Astro but she have to give up for this week. Time to go bed and have a good rest.
As for me, no holiday, i have to take care of everything as i'm the only one at home where else everybody was outstation.
Enjoy your weekend.
Support Chelsea tommorrow..
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Warning of world financial crisis?
Stocks fluctuate as investors mull future of AIG
A partial recovery in several other financial companies helped the sector show signs of life a day after leading Wall Street to its worst session in years. Investors also grew hopeful about a Federal Reserve interest rate cut.
Worries about AIG's well-being intensified Monday and early Tuesday after several ratings agencies downgraded the company. Lower ratings can add to the amount of money the already cash-strapped company has to set aside. Investors fear that a failure by the world's largest insurer would touch off a wave of financial turmoil.
But a CNBC report said the government is at least discussing extending a financial lifeline to the company; it cautioned that an agreement is far from certain and also that the company isn't likely to find help from the private sector. AIG fell $2.07, or 43 percent, to $2.69 after being down nearly 75 percent in earlier trading.
source: http://news.yahoo.com/story//ap/20080916/ap_on_bi_st_ma_re/wall_streetTuesday, September 16, 2008
The Right Path

If you decide that you're on the wrong path, it's OK. It is VERY common for that to be the case. In truth, many people suspect they're on the wrong path but don't acknowledge it. They end up spending a lifetime being unhappy and/or dissatisfied with their life. Take stock of the things you enjoy doing and where your true talents lie, and then go about identifying new and different opportunities in which to apply them. Once you're in an occupation that you enjoy, life really becomes enjoyable and satisfying. You'll end up working less (mostly because what you'll be doing you won't consider to be work), and you'll achieve a much greater level of success.
If instead, you decide that you ARE on the right path, then good for you! But you have a different challenge ahead of you. Remember that old saying about the definition of "insanity"? It goes like this: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!"
If you aren't at the level of success you want to be and you've determined that you ARE in the right kind of occupation, then it probably is time to do something different. Stop conducting "business as usual". You need to become more open-minded about how to get the job done. Here's how I see it: You can insist on doing things the way you've always done them, or you can choose to reinvent yourself and your business, and start doing things differently. Even if you've been in this business a while, be open to taking advice from others. Even newer people can have good, fresh ideas. Things that didn't work years ago may now be effective - given changes in society, and given your present level of expertise and experience. Commit to investing in yourself and your development. Start reading on a regular basis. Start attending or acquiring educational programs. Even ONE new idea can take your business to a whole new level.
One of the problems we have is that we often get completely caught up in our day-to-day routine. This prevents us from stepping back from our work, reflecting on our lives and our business, and reevaluating what we really want to do. My suggestion is to do just that. It is CRITICAL to your success and your happiness to take the time to reflect. When you get away from your office you gain new perspectives.
Re-evaluate yourself and your business. Gain clarity as to whether you should continue to build the business you're in or change occupations. If staying where you are is right, then commit to changing and growing. Be open to new ideas, even if the "new" ideas are ones you tried years ago without success. Remember, times have changed and you have changed. We are not the same people we were 10 or even 5 years ago. As our experience grows, so does our ability to succeed where we once faltered.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Chelsea Won Clash of Cash
Robinho scores from a free-kick on his debut for Manchester City. The £32.5million man paid off the first instalment of his British record price-tag by putting Mark Hughes' men ahead with a superb 13th-minute free-kick.
But it was downhill all the way after that as Chelsea scored three times without reply to register a seventh straight win over City even though England captain John Terry was sent off for a professional foul.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Greatest Quality in Life

Who Are You?
What traits define "who you are" in the minds of others? Obviously there are many things which define who we are, but the following list is a good place to start.
Have Integrity
Care About Others
Have a Professional Appearance
Have a Positive Attitude
If a person continually improves in these areas, not only will it cause more people to choose to buy from them, but they will ATTRACT more of the kinds of clients they want. Opportunities will seem to "materialize" because of who we are. Plus, you'll enjoy your business more than ever before.
Most of us could benefit from improving in one or more of the areas mentioned above, but it can be a challenge to achieve that improvement. Often it's difficult to improve in these areas simply because we're blind to where and how we could improve. We're creatures of habit and mostly operate on "autopilot". Additionally, it's really not about how we see ourselves, but rather how others perceive us.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Slam to end a Slump Year
NEW YORK (AP)—No matter what anyone else said or thought, Roger Federer knew he was still capable of elite tennis.
Knew he was still capable of winning Grand Slam titles.
Knew he was still Roger Federer.
Back at his best, back at the top of tennis, Federer easily beat Andy Murray 6-2, 7-5, 6-2 Monday to win his fifth consecutive U.S. Open championship and 13th major title overall.
Federer is the first man since Bill Tilden in the 1920s to win the tournament that many times in a row. He also moved within one major championship of tying Pete Sampras’ career record of 14.
“One thing’s for sure,” Federer said in an on-court interview. “I’m not going to stop at 13. That would be terrible.”
I woke this morning about 6am to catch the match live telecast and it didn't dissapoint me. One lesson that i learned from the great Federer is that never give up after much slump for this year, no major titles until today, no Master series titles this year and lost his no1 ranking that he hold for 4 1/2 year, winning doubles gold medal at Olympics in Beijing instead of Singles gold medals, and received tonnes of criticsim from media around the world that he is old and no longer able to win major titles anymore especially with rising star Rafael Nadal and Noval Djokovic come fast and furious.
When we are in a "slump", keep our mouth shut, seek more advice and make it happen for ourselves. Never stop, and never give up. Always believe in yourself even nobody believe again in you.
Salute Federer.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Temper Management
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the and and led him to the fence He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'
Friday, September 5, 2008
USD50 Lawyer
Urgent Memo
To All Staff, Please be advised that there are new rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our company.
RESTROOM USE:
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Systemize Your Success
When it comes to personal behaviour and getting your daily activities in harmony with your life goals, it is absolutely critical to have a system in place. Brain researchers claim that between 90-95% of all human behaviour is habitual which means we literally perform these activities without really thinking about them. Without a system to govern your critical activities, you will very likely fall victim to your habits and never truly accomplish the goals you set out to achieve.
As a person who is working on a number of major goals for my lifetime, I am always examining my results and looking for ways to improve the quality of my work and manage the time I choose to allocate to all of my activities. There have been periods of incredible productivity and other times where it seemed that everything was at a stand-still (even though I felt extremely busy). Upon reflection, it is easy to see that the main reason I experienced success during those productive times was due to the presence of a well defined system.
The word system can be defined as "a coordinated body of methods or a scheme or plan of procedure; organizational scheme." When I think of a system, I think of a list of activities performed in a certain order with a specific result in mind. Ultimately, a properly defined and implemented system is the key to success in any area of life.
Just take a quick look around you and you can begin to appreciate the value of a well defined system. In many cases, the entire system has been automated for optimum performance. If you have any doubts, just think about what happens when you place a phone call, start your computer, turn on your lights, flush your toilet, start your car or even when you eat dinner. Each process is handled by a system that is responsible for producing a certain result. In the same light, I believe it is critically important for every person to have an activity management system for their life; a system that has been designed to help a person reach all of their desired goals and aspirations.
For me, having a system brings clarity to my mind and removes the potential of procrastination. It forces me to focus on what I really want to accomplish and take action accordingly. Before I really understood the concept of systemizing my calendar, I instinctively knew that I had to build a system that would help me create my new habits. For a period of probably 100 days (maybe more), I woke up every morning and opened my activity journal. I would divide the page in half. The right side of the page was a list of six success habits that I had decided to implement in my life; family time, fitness, good deed, personal development studying, business activities and mental fitness (which would include something like meditation, visualization exercises, vision boarding, etc...). The left side of the page would be a growing list of all activities that would pop up throughout the day (for example, returning an important phone call, doing my online banking, filing mail, etc...). I would write every single activity down and check it off upon completion.
As basic as it sounds, that particular system actually changed my life. First and foremost, I would not allow myself to go to bed at night without first crossing off all critical daily activities from the right side of the page. I was literally obligating myself to create new habits. Secondly, I would see the left side of each page completely full of checked-off items. I felt great every time I looked at all of the important activities I had completed and it gave me energy to do it again the next day.
I believe that a good portion of our own self esteem comes from our ability to give ourselves an assignment and complete it. If there was a time I was feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list, I could quickly glance through my journal and remind myself how productive I could be when I put my mind to it. The accumulation of pages in my activity journal ultimately acted as a "success log" and always provided that extra boost of confidence when I needed it most.
After a certain period of time, I'm not sure why but I decided to stop using that system. I went back to a more informal task management system and basically relied on my calendar appointments to keep me on track. The really interesting thing I noticed was that the habits I formed have remained with me for the most part. I have replaced some of those original "success habits" with new habits that fit my current business structure and lifestyle. At the same time, I recently came to the realization that due to my ever-growing list of work demands, my schedule was once again out of control and rather chaotic. I had been spending far too much time on low priority work tasks, my fitness regimen was suffering some setbacks and my overall level of enthusiasm was being affected. After some introspection, it became quite evident that it was time to systemize!
The most difficult part of the entire process was forcing myself to stop, take a breath and examine my results. Once I was able to do this, I could easily see the areas that needed improvement and it was simply a matter of designing a new system that matched my current demands and lifestyle. I'm now back on track, more organized and best of all I'm feeling enthusiastic about my days.
Are you aware of how you spend the time in your day? Could you stand to be more efficient and productive? Perhaps you have broken some of the good habits that used to be part of your daily routine? If so, there has never been a better time to systemize.
Robinho Hijacked

Shocking news as i first heard from MIX FM this morning while im on the way to meet new client. Hey, to Mr Roman Abramovich, the new owner of Manchester City Football Club Mr Al-Fahim declare himself at soccernet.com that he is the new Abramovich in England football.
Best of luck Robinho.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Life is a Gift
The abilities I have you may not possess, the abilities you have I may never attain; we are unique, special, distinct and still... all the same. No two snowflakes are alike, each is individual...different. Just as grains of sand form together to create great beaches we as people join together to form mankind. We are each a piece of the puzzle, a thread of the tapestry, a word in the story of the beauty, joy, splendor, and majesty we call Life.
Never for even a moment question your reason for being. We are here for a purpose although we may never come to totally understanding the rhyme nor the reason of our mission....our life was meant to be.
Think about your family, your friends, your work; think how your presence impacts them all. Sure you may feel at times that they would be better off without you, STOP right now, and really think ... reflect upon your life. Would your children be here if you were not born? Would your friend's life be as enriched without you in it? Would someone else bring to your job your own unique talents, ideas or concepts? No, you are unequaled and life would not be the same without you.
Sure the earth will still rotate on its axis, the sun and moon continue to rise and set, the stars will still be seen at night, but I ask you would they evoke the same meaning to those you love and touch without having had you in their life?
All life is precious, never take it for granted. From the smallest ant to the magnificent red-wood tree... life is a gift... for you... for me.
"If You Have Touched One Heart, Taught One Lesson, And Given Unselfishly Of Yourself... Then You Truly Have Lived." - Bev Rosen Katowitz
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ticket to Beijing
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Beijing Huan Ying Ni (Beijing Welcomes You)

The weather is hot and humid over there, but i can't share this once in a lifetime experience with my family members and my love one coz i'm going alone, regulation by company. Luckily, my little sister will back on time to Ipoh this friday to take care of my beloved mama, so that i won't be worried when i'm not at home.
Due to flight cancellation by China Airlines with no specific reason, we have to take Thai Airways, (Tom Yum pls), thus, we have to stay one nite in Bangkok, hurray!!to be honest my favourite so far, since there was no flight back to Kuala Lumpur, so i will be back the next day 20th Aug and touch down at KLIA by 1910 hours.
So take care ad best wishes, no FUWA (official mascots) ok coz my love one already order one, and no ciggarettes too coz my dad will get one and his best fren Mr Chen Kin Min will get one.
I usually don't spend much on trips but i take lots of photos, alots of it everytime. Hoepfully can share with you guys when i get back.
Beijing Huan Ying NI!!!
Game Over in Galaxy
LOS ANGELES -Ruud Gullit has resigned as coach of the slumping Los Angeles Galaxy for personal reasons, and president/general manager Alexi Lalas also is out of a job.
"We are stepping up and doing what we need to do to straighten this thing out," Galaxy investor/operator Tim Leiweke told The Associated Press on Monday in announcing the changes.
The Galaxy, led by English star David Beckham and Landon Donovan, are on a seven-match winless streak as they play Chivas USA on Thursday night.
"There are two good people that for different reasons aren't part of this organization today, and that's a shame," Leiweke said. "The fact is, the players have to look deep inside themselves and understand they have to be responsible for some of this.
Maybe David Beckham should think ahead of his career, continue with high pay salary and glamorous lifestyle in Beverly Hills that satisfied his wife, or back to England? The choice is his, best of luck.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Feeling Empowerment
Empowerment is about owning our power, and it comes from within. No one can give us freedom; we have to claim it for ourselves. The funny thing about life is that when we stop blaming others and circumstances for restricting our lives, we begin to see that we have been our own persecutor, our own judge, our own jailer, and ultimately our own liberator. At first it may seem sad and frustrating, but once we start to free ourselves from our own self-defeating behaviours, beliefs and limitations, the lightness and ease kicks in and we can't help but laugh at how silly it all has been - we see how we?ve lived our lives as though caught in an old episode of the Twilight Zone. All we have to do is change the channel.
Owning more of your power involves being honest with yourself, connecting with who you really are on a deeper level, knowing what your needs and values are, what you like and don?t like, what your passions and priorities are in life. When you know who you are, what you want and where your boundaries are, you feel empowered, confident, peaceful and on purpose in life. You trust yourself and the process of life. You know that everyone and everything that comes into your life has either a gift or a lesson to offer you. And you are able to receive and give openly and generously.
Reflect on these questions to gain insights into your level of empowerment:
* When have you felt empowered in your life - at what times, in what situations, with which people? How did you contribute to this?
* When have you felt disempowered in your life - where, with whom? How did you contribute to this?
* Where do you currently give your power away - in what situations, with whom and why? What are you getting in exchange for your freedom and power (other's attention, approval, love etc.) and is it worth it?
Try these inspiring ideas to increase your feelings of empowerment:
* Imagine fully owning your power in the situations you tend to give it away. What boundaries would you have to set? What would you need to do for yourself to feel safe, accepted and loved in these situations?
* Explore what your needs and values are in life. The things that you need to have or be in order to feel comfortable in life (honesty, order, clarity, acknowledgement etc), and how you like to live and express yourself in life (adventure, beauty, creativity, leadership etc.). Where are you honouring your needs and values in the various aspects of your life? Brainstorm ways you can more fully honour these in all areas of your life.
* Try taking some time to let your imagination show you the possibilities of owning your power and how freeing it is. Start by sitting comfortably with your eyes closed letting your body relax. Imagine filling your whole body and energy space with a clear gold color as a way to fill yourself with your own certainty and power.
Emotional Intimacy
There is a huge difference between people wanting to get love, intimacy and connection, and wanting to share love, which can happen only when they are each filled with the love from Spirit that comes from taking full responsibility for themselves and doing their inner work. Out of their inner connection and their ability to share love with others comes the fun, the learning, the growth, and the creativity.
Emotional intimacy can also occur when people are open and vulnerable enough to share their fears, pain, and challenges. However, sometimes people get addicted to experiencing emotional intimacy through the sharing of their woundedness, rather than the sharing of their passions, fun, creativity, learning, and joy. While sharing pain can be an important part of a relationship, when it is the only way people experience intimacy, the relationship becomes codependent and dysfunctional.
True intimacy in a relationship comes from a deep commitment with oneself and one's partner to kindness, compassion, presence, integrity, the intent to learn, responsibility for self, and faith in one's own and the other's essential goodness. It is the sweet, comfortable, light, safe feeling that comes from knowing that neither of us is making the other responsible for us in any way - that both of us are fully present with ourselves, with each other, and with Spirit.
Emotional intimacy is the natural outgrowth of developing intimacy with ourselves and our Higher Power. The more inner work we do to heal our fears and beliefs that limit us and learn to be open and honest with ourselves, the more open and authentic we will be with others.
Practicing the Inner Bonding process is a powerful way of developing this intimacy with ourselves and with our partner. Through the daily practice of learning to take full responsibility for our own feelings and needs, we gradually heal our fears and the limiting beliefs that cause our fears of being open, honest and transparent with others. Emotional intimacy is the outgrowth of your devotion to your own inner work.
Emotional intimacy is what takes away loneliness. We may feel lonely when we are alone, and equally lonely when with another or others who are focused in their heads instead of in their hearts. Our western civilization has stressed intellect much more than heart-centered feelings, which is why we are such a lonely society. Our loneliness goes away only when we are able to share our laughter, fun, joy, creativity, honesty, insights, and love with each other. When we are with people who are in their heads rather than their hearts, we may get stuck sharing our woundedness and our complaints, instead of being in the loving creative flow with each other that signifies true emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy feeds the heart and soul. Without it in our lives, we will always feel that something is missing. We can learn to connect deeply with ourselves and with our spiritual guidance, but we are social beings, and the sharing of love is the highest, most satisfying experience in life.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The Late George Carlin message

Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Lying on a Nail
Once there was a young woman who didn't like her job. Everyday when she came home from work, she told her husband how terrible her day had been, how tiring the work and how unreasonable her boss. "Leave that job," her husband told her.
"Oh I will" she said. "But not yet. I have too many friends there for me to leave just yet." And so she complained until the days became years and her family grew to five. "Leave that job," her children told her. "Oh I will" she said. "But not yet. I have seniority and four weeks vacation I can spend with you. I'm not ready to start over just yet.
And so she remained unhappy at work until the years became decades and her children had children. "Leave that job," her grandchildren told her. "Oh I will," she said. "But not yet. There's only seven more years until I reach thirty years of service and can retire. So I can't just yet."
People who have planted their feet in status quo cement, lacking the courage to move from what is to what could be. People experiencing work like a four letter word and doing nothing to change it.
That's true for people, too. We convince ourselves the pain is not bad enough to leave the workplace we know. But we're wrong. Prolonged work pain is damaging. Some damages our self-esteem, kills our passion or destroys our dreams. Some emerges when we compromise our values, quiet our voice or hide our talent. Some happens when we're seduced by power or believe our own myths of importance and significance. Some occurs when we look the other way, say yes when we mean no or forfeit the promises we made to ourselves.
Wilbur Wright, of the Wright brothers fame, once commented, "We could hardly wait to get up in the morning." I know that exhilarating feeling of being so passionate about something I was working on that I couldn't wait to get back to work. And people who are winning at working know that kind of passion, too.
They get excited about work. They thrive offering their unique gifts and talents. And when things change as they sometimes will, they refuse to let a soul-depleting boss or environment hijack their self-esteem, passion or dreams. When work becomes work, they stop lying on a nail and do something about it.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Jom Ubah
The brain maintains homeostasis to guard the body from threats. Change is a disruption to this state. The natural reaction to a disruption of homeostasis is for our limbic system to kick in and create a fight or flight response.
Change can also be thought of as emotional pain. The body reacts to emotional pain the same as if it were physical pain. When you introduce a change, people fight to avoid because they think their life depends on it. Simply put, people feel scared, threatened and anxious. These are all reactions caused by the brains response to change.
Change in the brain is represented by new wiring. New wiring is created from insights which happen when we make a new connection in the brain.
Coaching is all about bringing people to new insights, developing new wiring and forming new habits. This process not only helps people deal better with change, but also helps them create changes for themselves, form new life long positive habits and new ways of living.
The brain loves insights. Insights release endorphins - brain chemicals associated with pleasure states. When you have an insight, you are fueled with energy to take action to deal with change or anything else that matters to you.
So, the next time you are faced with change in your life remember what your brain is thinking. Ah ha-now you have an insight-new wiring is forming. Take action. Start creating what really matters to you. Turn your dreams to goals, develop a plan and take action. Be ready to reach your full potential because you will.
Once you understand and accept change, the change process becomes a whole lot easier as will your life in general.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Life is Beautiful
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tales of a Cup and Kopi
A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: 'If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.
In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... Then you began eyeing each other's cups.'
Now consider this, said the professor, 'Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. Enjoy your coffee!'
The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Four things to take note of in life...
2. Love generously.
3. Care deeply.
4. Speak kindly.
Enjoy your coffee!!!